Ha ha ha!

19 Dec 2009 2 Comments

by Sindhu Murthy in Uncategorized

So, we have turned one year and a few days. It feels nice to be part of an organisation that is celebrating its first anniversary. I escaped all the hardship this organisation suffered before it reached this phase.  Its alright I guess – I had to be part of some anniversary around this time and this one, I swear has been great and will always be better than that I was supposed to be part of, had I stuck around. Oh, the latter would’ve clubbed my death anniversary(yes, I would’ve perished right down to greyish black ashes) with their happy first year anniversary. There wouldn’t have been mixed feelings if you are suspecting any – only sheer happiness at the loss of life aka collosal gain, would have floated around. Rhetorics and twisted implications aside, to put it simply, this feeling of settling down with immense satisfaction albeit pittance in the bank is much better than immense dissatisfaction and a hoard of pittance in the bank.

At this very crucial, defining junction, we were all forced to reflect on our experience that ranged from a week to a year across departments of the office. This would be be recorded in the reporters’ diary. For many, it was about writing their heartfelt, truest feelings with utmost sincerity and unquestionable commitment to their beat. I have covered all beats except sports and politics (politics in sports and sports in politics, besides sports individually and politics individually). So it was tough to pinpoint one, single, life-changing, ideal-altering, mind-shuddering, principle-reforming incident. I usually return grim if everything went well and quietly dash off my story. I create a ruckus when the assignment goes haywire. Narrating about something unpleasant always has an impact and sounds like a life-altering, perspective-changing, ethical-building journalistic exercise, although one might mean life-altering, perspective-changing, ethical-building journalistic exercise that has inspired you to quickly venture into exploring the greener pastures of life and its career options. Ah, those scheming crannies of the mind that though always ready to spring into action, are suppressed by ethical standards. And now, once again, they make a grand, full-bodied entry. The Dhan-ta-daaan way!

Coming to the present, the point of the moment that changed the way I looked at several moments later, I recollected…

The deadly epidemic had claimed Rupa Anand, a teacher at Sudarshan Vidya Mandir, in August. Everyone was frantically masked, fearing they might be the next unassuming victim. Amidst this turmoil, I, who was a ‘newcomer’ at DNA was staggered to be assigned to this incident. The swine flu was delirious – a reporter couldn’t be caught without a swine flu story on any given day. I soon reached the school – soaked in shock and fear. I gulped my own and did what any reporter would do. The story appeared the next day.

Still in the first year of the launch, we wanted to be the ones who had done that first, every single day. So, I reached the school the next day too, for the latest – the updates. The school was shut. I paced up and down several times outside, until finally, I mustered courage to walk upto the Principal. I barely muttered a ‘hello’ and she shot a thunderous dressing down for approaching her the ‘cloak and dagger’ style, when I should just let her and the institution be. My eyes welled with tears. Ideally, I should have vanished. The situation was grim and demises as such quiver my heart. She continued, “Please be sensitive.” My eyes welled with some more tears but I refused to budge – failing on my special assignment and thereby failing as a reporter haunted me. I stood resolute. Eventually, she gave in. The ‘mentally edited’ version was written and published for the next day’s.

Well, what I learnt was never lynch your self-esteem out of yourself but what I wrote was the very well edited version – Journalism refers to the art, damn the heart, I thereby learnt. That I eventually became the Art and Culture Correspondent is completely besides the point.

Mostly, happiness (aarrrggghh! damn those happiness sayings) is a state of mind that we all are adamant to acknowledge. See, I should very well accept that I have brought all of this junk upon myself, with my knowledge, experience and wisdom or the lack of it but I, with all my knowledge, experience and wisdom or the lack of it, choose to blame people around me!

I recently read a column by Swami Nithyananda. He made a lot of sense when I interpreted that one must always be grateful to people around you, all the time, in order to be happy. He says we have a defense mechanism against everyone else, fearing that they are all out there to get us. This disappears when gratitude flowers, he says. When you truly feel grateful, you will not try to possess them, not treat them as objects but as beautiful individuals. With gratitude, you give people their due spaces… It made so much sense to me at that point of time and I think it always will, at all other points of time too, for I, like all other wandering ambitious goats will ALWAYS seek happiness.